Second thoughts about NY. I hardly know my dad and he hardly knows me. He's going to judge how I am, live, and especially look, which I will have a hard time dealing with. I can hear him now "Jenny, why do you have a ring in between your nose, you look like a bull". I thought I was through dealing with what I wore and whatnot here but now I'm off to somewhere else where ill be judge again. I can't even use my vices there. ill be sober, oh god.. I can hardly stand that thought now a days. I'm not an addict but I need things to keep my mind off of ...shit? I guess. He stopped caring pretty much when I was a pre-teen, when I needed him most actually. But both of my parents stopped caring and I had to once again be on my own. I guess I just have to keep my chin up and hope for the best when I do travel, but humans can't help it but to hear the negativity that always stays floating in the creases of their mind.
I think I need to be more spontaneous.
~Gore

~Edit~

I just woke up, and wanted to go ahead and share this crazy ass dream I had:

One of our friends had just died (I don't remember who, but It was a girl) and for some reason her last dying wish was to have sex? uh so we took in turns to have sex with her dead body. after all of that, we packed up as if we were going on a road trip, AND we packed our friends dead body in one of our cars! There was at least 7 cars following each other. The sky was stormy and an inky purple but at the same time bright enough to see.
I was following some guy in a nice car, he was the leader of the car snake trail. He took an immidiate sharp turn and I lost him instantely. Then I woke up.

Weird right? bahaha
I hope that never happens...


~Edit, way later on....~

Glee was amazing tonight ^_^ I fucking LOVE Rocky horror Picture Show, so I'm glad they did an episode about it.



The dentist went perfect, took no longer than half and hour. Then my mom and I went shopping in bad tempers (long story)... Came home, ate something, and now I'm out of the shower and ready to fly out the door again. Going to Caty's to party it up... again. I tried to decline but she talked me into it.

and now I'm fasting till the big halloween party..
~G